Nasty Side Effects...

An ad from a junk mailer here in HK. Not sure what 'Noni' is supposed to do exactly, but it does seem to have some nasty side effects. Apparently these don't kick in until your trip to the local tea shop after work, so that lessens the blow i suppose. Hate to see what happens if you take twice the recommended dosage; does your entire face go, or just the left side your body? Maybe you could manage to slink through the office only showing your sunny, confident right profile..

Forsaken Acid Mickey

A forgotten shot from the 'street Mickey' exhibition at Times Square a few weeks ago. This mickey seems to have been conceived/designed while under the influence of acid, or something suitably mind-altering, though probably not peyote, which i assume is hard to come by in Asia. His limbs are teased out in grotesque springs, his signature pants have mutated into a heavily weighted bowl, his hands into useless pill shaped lumps. He appears to be crying out to Disney heaven in a 'why have you forsaken me?' pose, or melting into the pavement under the oppressive glare of Walt himself. Don't know if this is supposed to signify something profound (or if the sculptor has a 'signature' style that he must apply to all his work, so that Goofy, Bambi, or even Hello Kitty would be given the same unsettling treatment). Apparently its not that unsettling; the gentleman on the phone to the right didn't even look up as he strolled by. Maybe he's an acid-sculpture critic and is dishing to a colleague- 'oh god, another Mickey - how original - i'm sorry you were saying?"

Democracy of Nevermind

These are a few of the more memorable knock-off brands slated to grace a refurbished mall in Causeway Bay; "Democracy of Nevermind" is my personal favorite. Several are actually well-executed logos, but utterly nonsensical, such as "Trunk Ltd.- A Moment in Time". What the hell is that supposed to mean? And of course there's "Barak" - no doubt inspired by our - inspirational(!) president, though you'd think they'd at least get the spelling right. I actually like the juxtaposition of "1% Barak" too; now that would make an interesting brand name. Like to see the tagline -"When it comes to Barak, all you need is 1%"...





No, YOUR Bra Sucks

This is an ad for a lingerie store across from Times Square in Causway Bay. Despite its obvious eye-catching qualities, I'm mystified by the tagline: who is she supposed to be talking to exactly? Other women? As in: Your bra sucks, though I'm not wearing one, but if I was it would make you feel even more inadequate, soooo... you'd better get in here and buy a bra! What should be a woman's reply be? No your bra sucks, or no your thong sucks, it isn't very... pragmatic, and would show terribly under a skirt...

Or to men: your bra sucks, though you obviously don't wear bras (at least most of you don't), but you aren't looking at the tagline anyway, hell it could say 'lunchmeat one dollar' and you'd still stare at me, especially considering my 'come hither' look and rather subtle lack of clothing. How about 'tell your wife/girlfriend that her bra sucks, and point to this handy billboard to illustrate your point'! That should go over well...

Love Sheep?

Another image that (to a native English speaker at least) kind of speaks for itself. Actually I an ex-girlfriend of mine had a great story about buying a joke item for a bachelorette (hen) party. She had nervously entered an 'adult novelty' store and had stumbled on the product in question - but was curious if the 'love sheep' was like a normal blow up doll. The cashier had frowned and then picked up the store public address phone and yelled "Hey Lenny! This blowup sheep doll have love holes?" Suffice to say she melted into the floor in utter embarassment. And yes the sheep did in fact have love holes. I will refrain from any expected Kiwi and/or Greek references at this juncture. Or did that just count as one? Not that I'm insinuating anything. Really.

In the Future, Catcher's Masks For All

An old shot from Macau I stumbled across this weekend. According to this watch, err timepiece, retailer, in the future all men will wear body armor (eerily similiar to Cylons in the original Battlestar Galactica) and don catcher's masks - yes from American baseball, all you cricketeers; no floppy hats and sweater vests in the 22nd century. And complimenting this potent protection is thier laser shielded, vacuum proofed timepiece - which you can still snorkel with, to a depth of 3 meters! It seems Mad Max got it all wrong - no mohawks, dreadlocks or hockey masks. Just exquisite catcher's apparel. And watches.

Madcap (Hypnotized?) Golfing Tigers

I rarely get a chance to get shots of English butchering t-shirts here, either because I didn't get a chance to ask (and don't want to be a hypocrite) or because the shop employees become mortified or rather brusque when I ask to take a picture of the merchandise. So I considered myself lucky whenever even a minor gem like this gets displayed prominently in a window. The moniker 'golfing tigers' is (just) enough for inclusion, but the actual mascot, complete with madcap knock-kneed stroke and disturbingly glazed over eyes, is intriguing. Has he been hypnotized for madcap comic effect, dressed like a theme park safari guide, tehn cajoled into swinging a titanium driver dangerously about? What happens if the tiger wakes up? Does he maul his defenseless tax attorney partner? Or the mid-level cadres playing through Mission Hills like they own the place? Now that would make a great t-shirt...