http://hongkongblong.com/index.htmlhong kong blongendanmcardle@mac.comCopyright 2011 Daniel McArdle2012-05-14T06:53:54+08:00 hourly 1 2000-01-01T12:00+00:00 Fri, 23 Jul 2010 20:09:33 +0800danmcardle@mac.comSuper English ForceChinglish2012-05-14T06:53:54+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/1bdc4c095529de7a76f4d05515ce467b-365.html#unique-entry-id-365http://hongkongblong.com/files/1bdc4c095529de7a76f4d05515ce467b-365.html#unique-entry-id-365


(And for the record - yes I realize this is a well-intentioned charity for disadvantaged kids, and yes I did donate to the charity box. Just can’t pass up a title like that. Kudos to Grandma Jackie for spotting this)
]]>danmcardle@mac.comFood & Bleverages2012-05-14T06:53:53+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/7a8ca68aec0e8902f2e93b0338f7216a-364.html#unique-entry-id-364http://hongkongblong.com/files/7a8ca68aec0e8902f2e93b0338f7216a-364.html#unique-entry-id-364
]]>danmcardle@mac.comDisturbing Mascots2012-05-08T13:15:27+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/43bccbbbf86e22b33d71ca71d88ed35e-363.html#unique-entry-id-363http://hongkongblong.com/files/43bccbbbf86e22b33d71ca71d88ed35e-363.html#unique-entry-id-363


Say what you will about the despot, but he obviously knew his way around airliner safety equipment. Just look at that form. Sublime technique. And check out the sporty yet practical stain-hiding travel blazer...]]>danmcardle@mac.comHell O'KittyLinks of Interest2012-05-04T08:31:34+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/794a4415f090fed37e31800d68e6b148-362.html#unique-entry-id-362http://hongkongblong.com/files/794a4415f090fed37e31800d68e6b148-362.html#unique-entry-id-362
And just look at the selection - A Hello Kitty clock anchoring the display, a working retro bling phone, a 5 pound bling purse (great crime deterrent - who’d want to steal that?) Also several impractical but hyperbling iPhone covers. Be warned though - the Stitch and Hello Kitty options are about 3 inches thick, so mere mortal pockets won’t do. And of course a blinged-out black model Ferrari, complete with gull wing doors. Just like the real Ferrari. The doors I mean.



Speaking of cars, the owner tends to park across the street. I had a few pictures of this from previous outings, but unfortunately this is the only one I could find:



Yes that is bling lining the window’s weather stripping, and yes the union jack is solid bling, with pink stripes. There’s was also decal in the window forbidding photos - like she can enforce that somehow. I love the fact that she coats a white/pink Cooper with rhinestones and Hello Kitty paraphernalia, and then forbids photography...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comTai Tai Fashionique2012-02-09T07:35:27+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/5966ec48df22768ba5090b2adfad4bbd-361.html#unique-entry-id-361http://hongkongblong.com/files/5966ec48df22768ba5090b2adfad4bbd-361.html#unique-entry-id-361very entrepreneurial...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English ForceDisturbing Mascots2012-01-29T18:58:51+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/be1d27a4de74da3b4a43d3bbb98905aa-360.html#unique-entry-id-360http://hongkongblong.com/files/be1d27a4de74da3b4a43d3bbb98905aa-360.html#unique-entry-id-360is waving at least, and the bats are flying in a loose ‘happy birthday-ish’ formation...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comHell O'KittyDisturbing Mascots2012-01-15T09:02:19+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/826e7ba02796c3df63bbb79b9b43ff9d-359.html#unique-entry-id-359http://hongkongblong.com/files/826e7ba02796c3df63bbb79b9b43ff9d-359.html#unique-entry-id-359
Would that the ‘real’ Hello Kitty was doomed to such an eternal fate - trapped with Death incarnate within a hermetically sealed prison, while forced to wear a ridiculous (even for her) outfit. Though I’d honestly feel sorry for Death...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English ForceHong Kong Wrong2012-05-01T07:42:24+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/b5a1c682fbb4342eeb5eab3d6086d5c5-358.html#unique-entry-id-358http://hongkongblong.com/files/b5a1c682fbb4342eeb5eab3d6086d5c5-358.html#unique-entry-id-358got to be the best!

]]>danmcardle@mac.comDisturbing Mascots2012-01-06T06:58:53+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/363d5dee3e51db7d339d176ff2ea416a-357.html#unique-entry-id-357http://hongkongblong.com/files/363d5dee3e51db7d339d176ff2ea416a-357.html#unique-entry-id-357
]]>danmcardle@mac.comFood & BleveragesChinglish2012-01-03T09:16:17+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/04a014bb7757a684b55cae2cba61a6b2-356.html#unique-entry-id-356http://hongkongblong.com/files/04a014bb7757a684b55cae2cba61a6b2-356.html#unique-entry-id-356
]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2012-01-02T07:52:01+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/92163b661b3975b688c9d15c3077efdf-355.html#unique-entry-id-355http://hongkongblong.com/files/92163b661b3975b688c9d15c3077efdf-355.html#unique-entry-id-355and left turn (nice of them to include the left option). And just look at those tires! I wonder if they’re made of super copter alloy adapted for terrestrial usage. Regardless, its strongest powers are to ‘run in water, and land is very easy also’ as well...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2012-01-02T06:46:12+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/13b09113e99f1aa675d93aba3dc3e652-354.html#unique-entry-id-354http://hongkongblong.com/files/13b09113e99f1aa675d93aba3dc3e652-354.html#unique-entry-id-354
]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2012-01-02T07:18:09+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/7b1653e3c5fe3b8f9d91e86c3732c0c1-353.html#unique-entry-id-353http://hongkongblong.com/files/7b1653e3c5fe3b8f9d91e86c3732c0c1-353.html#unique-entry-id-353My [insert relative] went to Hong Kong and all I got was this lousy t-shirt’ was not visible from the street. And ‘have a nice tee’ is certainly a clever if ill-fitting tagline. Oh well, at least they’re doing their small part to educate shoppers on tried and true mercantile skills like basic arithmetic. Or maybe it’s a clever Orwellian reference, a nod ‘Double Plus Good’ from 1984? Or not.

]]>danmcardle@mac.comCantopop Level of HellDisturbing Mascots2012-01-01T07:05:18+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/b81d2f0f1a9e05168879d6b5793befd5-352.html#unique-entry-id-352http://hongkongblong.com/files/b81d2f0f1a9e05168879d6b5793befd5-352.html#unique-entry-id-352



]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English ForceFood & Bleverages2011-11-23T08:10:02+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/43bb4c3eb2dc391cf9210292a02d4893-351.html#unique-entry-id-351http://hongkongblong.com/files/43bb4c3eb2dc391cf9210292a02d4893-351.html#unique-entry-id-351Elvis Whoppie Twist. Don’t know if a ‘whoppie’ is a traditional British item, but pairing Elvis with anything will surely kick it up a notch, no? I assume the twist is a reference to his famed hip gyrations? He didn’t sing ‘The Twist’ though, did he? I think that was Fats Domino.



Anyway, assuming they go for authenticity, it should be basketball-sized and feed 15+ people just like Elvis’ favorite sandwich, the infamous ‘Mile High Sandwich’ (officially called the ‘Fool's Gold Loaf’). For those of who unschooled in Elvis lore, this consists of a 4-pound loaf of hollowed-out buttered white bread filled with peanut butter, grape jelly, and burnt bacon. It is then deep-fried for good measure. It would serve 4-20 mortals - or one Elvis.

Of course if you’re looking for a more appropriately sized whoppie to tide you over, there’s always the Red Velvet Whoppie Pie (a remarkable name in its own right)...



]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English ForceFood & Bleverages2012-05-01T07:39:53+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/cc8d89abe0a6d91e99d9ed345d0f3e32-350.html#unique-entry-id-350http://hongkongblong.com/files/cc8d89abe0a6d91e99d9ed345d0f3e32-350.html#unique-entry-id-350Unappetizers perhaps?

]]>danmcardle@mac.comDisturbing Mascots2011-11-04T08:20:44+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/298b03aa9088a8691058ca1f747fd2fd-349.html#unique-entry-id-349http://hongkongblong.com/files/298b03aa9088a8691058ca1f747fd2fd-349.html#unique-entry-id-349shit he doesn’t need...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2011-11-02T08:38:57+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/43e761464833cd8e65f0cc0d33ffaa14-348.html#unique-entry-id-348http://hongkongblong.com/files/43e761464833cd8e65f0cc0d33ffaa14-348.html#unique-entry-id-348
Anyway the last line says ‘the two things which make the’. And that’s it. Make the what exactly? Make the native English speakers snicker? Or maybe I’m completely naive, and ice oream really does make the...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2011-10-27T09:04:41+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/c51e62955d878d498c0edb0bac338b50-347.html#unique-entry-id-347http://hongkongblong.com/files/c51e62955d878d498c0edb0bac338b50-347.html#unique-entry-id-347ever. That means since the dawn of time, or gyros at least, which is apparently a long time indeed, judging by the featured Egyptian nobility.

Anyway turns out it’s not in Lebanon or Greece (or Egypt), but in a small side street cafe in Seattle. Who knew? Also who knew that the ancient Egyptians enjoyed falafel and gyros? Or baklava? So when in Seattle, just look for the kissin’ camels. And remember, that’s ‘Zaina’ for food, drinks, and friends... AND THE BEST GYRO EVER!

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English ForceDisturbing Mascots2011-10-21T07:11:38+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/2797bc9688e3ff4f940408942d4d2970-346.html#unique-entry-id-346http://hongkongblong.com/files/2797bc9688e3ff4f940408942d4d2970-346.html#unique-entry-id-346are clips all over his face. Which leaves one to wonder: what the hell are they thinking?! What has this got to do even remotely with pants? Why would I want to buy jeans that remind me of this? Is this what their jeans do to one’s genitalia? I can categorically state this a game nobody wants to play...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2011-10-18T08:09:54+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/015df782ab88e3981aaa378b7be624c0-345.html#unique-entry-id-345http://hongkongblong.com/files/015df782ab88e3981aaa378b7be624c0-345.html#unique-entry-id-345And they have the ‘answers’ to boot. No idea what that means of course, but it sounds far more empowering than being ‘Unisys Check Encoded’ or ‘SEBI India Compliant’...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2011-10-03T07:19:46+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/8ed86ed4670c2650ce015844cecbd94b-344.html#unique-entry-id-344http://hongkongblong.com/files/8ed86ed4670c2650ce015844cecbd94b-344.html#unique-entry-id-344
]]>danmcardle@mac.comDisturbing Mascots2011-09-21T07:23:33+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/7b47a07e0d8058395ee0f9091d48a80e-343.html#unique-entry-id-343http://hongkongblong.com/files/7b47a07e0d8058395ee0f9091d48a80e-343.html#unique-entry-id-343anything. Hackneyed imagery doesn’t sell product gentlemen, quality does...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English ForceDisturbing Mascots2011-09-16T15:03:47+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/1caa3a15dda83f464b5c6a198a21a28d-342.html#unique-entry-id-342http://hongkongblong.com/files/1caa3a15dda83f464b5c6a198a21a28d-342.html#unique-entry-id-342
]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2011-09-13T07:41:16+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/c264e0587a98aab962fa01f795211bfe-341.html#unique-entry-id-341http://hongkongblong.com/files/c264e0587a98aab962fa01f795211bfe-341.html#unique-entry-id-341
]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English ForceTai Tai Fashionique2011-09-06T15:33:24+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/fc8f253a040c0ef9a67f6e3bacec995c-340.html#unique-entry-id-340http://hongkongblong.com/files/fc8f253a040c0ef9a67f6e3bacec995c-340.html#unique-entry-id-340
]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2011-08-30T19:02:20+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/dd51267846b8c128991315c800f603a2-339.html#unique-entry-id-339http://hongkongblong.com/files/dd51267846b8c128991315c800f603a2-339.html#unique-entry-id-339
Turns out there’s a bourgeoning underground of Gimpers, though calling them that may get me impaled by scrapbooking implements. Apparently they prefer to call themselves Boondogglers. Of course there’s another camp that refers to the art as Scoubidous. Sounds like a Harry Potter faction. Probably is one. Anyway I also wondered if the Boondogglers and Scoubidousers ever have craft-fair brawls, or travel in armed packs and pick off the occasional old or weakened apostate. Maybe they even have occasional defections to the ‘dark side’, and they knit up elaborate (and incredibly strong - this is plastic lace coated wire) restraining devices for their fallen sisters. Or not.

]]>danmcardle@mac.comHong Kong Blong2011-08-22T15:33:33+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/db06290f3c110ef585c293173565f265-338.html#unique-entry-id-338http://hongkongblong.com/files/db06290f3c110ef585c293173565f265-338.html#unique-entry-id-338Deliverance isn’t a sound business decision. Still these shirts were everywhere, so someone must be buying them. I’m surprised they didn’t also throw in the usual Maine accent joke and put ‘Fastah’...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English ForceDisturbing Mascots2011-08-19T07:27:45+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/eec236e770aaefdc0b98e80232619c32-337.html#unique-entry-id-337http://hongkongblong.com/files/eec236e770aaefdc0b98e80232619c32-337.html#unique-entry-id-337
Regardless, it seems he’s had a bit of an run in with a car tire, though I’m sure with enough overindulgence and expensive medical care (no driving over the border to Canada for him - only the highest jacked-up US medical fees will do!) he’ll be purrfectly fine. Or is that pawfectly?

Which reminds me, why aren’t there cards like this that say meowtherf***er? Now that’s a card I would buy without hesitation. And my respect for the store that carried it would rise exponentially too.

I actually thought about buying this and sending it as a joke, but the thought of keeping a card around in case one of your friends gets sick was, well, sick. Also I don’t know that many people who could absorb such toxic levels of snark while still recuperating...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2011-08-07T07:36:53+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/2875288e926bcf79508d642328997edd-336.html#unique-entry-id-336http://hongkongblong.com/files/2875288e926bcf79508d642328997edd-336.html#unique-entry-id-336
As always thanks for stopping by and tell your friends and enemies.]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English ForceDisturbing Mascots2011-06-26T18:02:40+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/ee2d6a07b2505ead7a3c512f5530f9ae-335.html#unique-entry-id-335http://hongkongblong.com/files/ee2d6a07b2505ead7a3c512f5530f9ae-335.html#unique-entry-id-335Behold the infamous ‘Snappy Joe’ the Jeepster, who had his teeth replaced with a jagged set of steel fangs. Even added teeth to his jeep. Apparently he didn’t think his psychotic eyes were intimidating enough; perhaps he felt insecure being a jeepster around all those tanks. Of course Joe’s fellow troops gave him a wide berth regardless, especially when he went on wild joyrides around the base. He would often blow through intersections while waving a live grenade around (at least I think thats a grenade, or maybe its a pumpkin?). Somehow I don’t think Snappy adapted well to civilian life...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English ForceTai Tai Fashionique2011-06-24T12:33:36+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/5216e1457411e91b4c1ed9bc608ef526-334.html#unique-entry-id-334http://hongkongblong.com/files/5216e1457411e91b4c1ed9bc608ef526-334.html#unique-entry-id-334beLIEve is truly remarkable, especially by irony-blind HK standards. If it is intentional, then my opinion of at least one HK fashion designer has skyrocketed. If it isn’t, then it’s still a priceless example of unintentional, completely discombobulating irony at its finest...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English ForceFood & Bleverages2011-06-22T07:39:55+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/2fed24c0fcc24db2893085d3862027f1-333.html#unique-entry-id-333http://hongkongblong.com/files/2fed24c0fcc24db2893085d3862027f1-333.html#unique-entry-id-333
]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2011-06-19T17:22:28+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/0fc42f9a78d7083a30c4ecdf609edb7f-332.html#unique-entry-id-332http://hongkongblong.com/files/0fc42f9a78d7083a30c4ecdf609edb7f-332.html#unique-entry-id-332
]]>danmcardle@mac.comHong Kong Blong2011-06-17T20:00:49+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/ce37784759e4979d5ce24a0e77ddb12e-331.html#unique-entry-id-331http://hongkongblong.com/files/ce37784759e4979d5ce24a0e77ddb12e-331.html#unique-entry-id-331
I was gladdened by the smiling bowling ball next to it, however. Clever! And rather creepy actually. I don’t know if I want to put my fingers in a bowling ball’s eyes, or my thumb in his mouth, even if he does look friendly. He obviously thinks the world of that bowling pin though...



]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2011-06-12T07:25:16+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/d8897e5292f06d94db1d71a3cb193b55-330.html#unique-entry-id-330http://hongkongblong.com/files/d8897e5292f06d94db1d71a3cb193b55-330.html#unique-entry-id-330
]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2011-06-04T17:07:09+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/1f7b0bbd581cfd7661ae0834ad62ae32-329.html#unique-entry-id-329http://hongkongblong.com/files/1f7b0bbd581cfd7661ae0834ad62ae32-329.html#unique-entry-id-329
]]>danmcardle@mac.comFood & Bleverages2011-05-29T09:37:07+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/731544a92703181b103d39cdc95e6edb-328.html#unique-entry-id-328http://hongkongblong.com/files/731544a92703181b103d39cdc95e6edb-328.html#unique-entry-id-328epicureans on the go - 26/11/2010). Now they’ve scandalized the Pizza Gods themselves with their latest travesty. And lo the Pizza Gods are not smiling. They are perhaps relieved that the ‘pretzel pizza’ is at least flat, and not pretzelized somehow (or worse pocket-shaped , the ultimate abomination). But they cannot be happy with another mutation. Why must companies constantly crank stuff like this out? Who craves a pretzel dough pizza? Why can’t they just stick to what works? And what of the Pretzel Gods? Are they smiling? No, they are weeping, dear friends. Weeping.

]]>danmcardle@mac.comHong Kong WrongSuper English Force2011-05-25T16:35:12+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/bc3a048476d202e060c7d4020a268cf1-327.html#unique-entry-id-327http://hongkongblong.com/files/bc3a048476d202e060c7d4020a268cf1-327.html#unique-entry-id-327
Still, who cares what it looks like when it got a name like ‘uMama Warm’. It begs for someone to exclaim in a suitable rapper or jersey accent - “Umama? I warmed umama last night!” etc etc...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English ForceFood & Bleverages2011-05-16T08:57:28+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/3b457eb84e8a37af42b57e97bda57c8e-325.html#unique-entry-id-325http://hongkongblong.com/files/3b457eb84e8a37af42b57e97bda57c8e-325.html#unique-entry-id-325that, I’d take it upon myself to find out what those pillars of ‘meat’ are actually made of...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comHong Kong WrongCantopop Level of Hell2011-05-10T10:54:57+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/6a85e8c5d685b588926568aad29f43f4-324.html#unique-entry-id-324http://hongkongblong.com/files/6a85e8c5d685b588926568aad29f43f4-324.html#unique-entry-id-324Turn It Up, Bring It On, Fashionista, and my personal favorite Chillax featuring Taiwanese rapper Soft Lipa(?).

Now it seems someone had the brilliant idea of doing a full-on Clockwork Orange branding campaign for their latest album and concerts, complete with clubs. bowlers, eye makeup and steel-toed boots. Which leaves me to wonder: did they actually watch the movie? Do they have any idea why those guys dressed like that, and what they were up to? Do you really want your boy band linked to costumed fascist sociopaths? Suffice to say I hope they don’t take the marketing too far, and go on a stomping foray into their adoring audience, accompanied by a stirring rendition of Beethoven’s 9th...



]]>danmcardle@mac.comHong Kong Blong2011-05-08T08:00:15+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/621ca077e26d415e16bf718e7a5c01d2-323.html#unique-entry-id-323http://hongkongblong.com/files/621ca077e26d415e16bf718e7a5c01d2-323.html#unique-entry-id-323



]]>danmcardle@mac.comTai Tai FashioniqueHell O'Kitty2011-05-04T07:30:41+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/34dce7a1b468a61843feb980589283f7-321.html#unique-entry-id-321http://hongkongblong.com/files/34dce7a1b468a61843feb980589283f7-321.html#unique-entry-id-321
Anyway what really struck me was the bling coated bobble-head Mr. Bean in the lower left corner. Should he now be referred to as Mr. Blean? Bleang? Or is that last one simply too hard to pronounce? Looks like he’s come into some serious money recently, and has acquired up some proper swag, including a rakish nose stud, and what appear to be bling contacts...



]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2011-05-03T06:49:35+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/54f647f140d45c0257e9d9753e9568f9-320.html#unique-entry-id-320http://hongkongblong.com/files/54f647f140d45c0257e9d9753e9568f9-320.html#unique-entry-id-320surpassed the Holy Grail of scratch resistance - the hardness of the original Swiss Alps! And we all know how scratch resistant the newly formed Alps were...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comTai Tai Fashionique2011-05-02T07:48:00+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/77d7b8aab4aaace9c5cd1ad55469f265-319.html#unique-entry-id-319http://hongkongblong.com/files/77d7b8aab4aaace9c5cd1ad55469f265-319.html#unique-entry-id-319bungie cords. This one has to fall into ‘that’s not only silly, but probably really uncomfortable’ category. That thing must weigh 20 pounds. One bonus though - if that overly fierce looking model in need of a weapon, or is ever stuck out in the boonies and her bumper comes off, she’ll have an ample supply of bungies readily accessible...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2011-04-26T06:48:05+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/7b234ffae0fd81775f4726f5461be466-318.html#unique-entry-id-318http://hongkongblong.com/files/7b234ffae0fd81775f4726f5461be466-318.html#unique-entry-id-318
]]>danmcardle@mac.comCookie Moon Doggie Spa2011-04-22T07:36:35+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/25b9583db9645017a010f6350480a763-317.html#unique-entry-id-317http://hongkongblong.com/files/25b9583db9645017a010f6350480a763-317.html#unique-entry-id-317have ears? Oh well, it’s not like logic comes into play here. And if you are going to spoil your already hyper-spoiled little prize as badly as dogdog’s customers do, then said dog should at least have to put up with some humiliation. How I’d love to hear the other dog’s commentary as they pass in the street; “Oooh, nice outfit, you pick that out yourself? And in baby blue too, really suits you....”

]]>danmcardle@mac.comDisturbing Mascots2011-04-18T06:26:01+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/4baf93845b8fa3e6b466bd9c0bdf2082-316.html#unique-entry-id-316http://hongkongblong.com/files/4baf93845b8fa3e6b466bd9c0bdf2082-316.html#unique-entry-id-316


I recognized him later on a wall in Happy Valley. This is his ‘look’ apparently - silver hair, goatee, and pristine white shirt. At least his name must carry enough culinary cache that he gets some foodie endorsements, like for this wine fridge outfit.



Anyway it occurred to me that it would be much more fun to have a ‘bonobo fan club’, restaurants that have earned recommendations from our nearest genetic cousins, the infamously promiscuous bonobos. A restaurant sporting a bonobofanclub.com sticker would guarantee scandalous entertainment if nothing else, provided free of charge by the swinging clientele, at least until the cops showed up. Wouldn’t do much for the appetite, however...]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English ForceDisturbing Mascots2011-04-16T07:57:51+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/ca0e87f706f96766787bec42ac262034-315.html#unique-entry-id-315http://hongkongblong.com/files/ca0e87f706f96766787bec42ac262034-315.html#unique-entry-id-315dodge-em tricky action and send him flying into the patriotic border ring...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comDisturbing Mascots2011-04-13T07:42:34+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/098ff892918b6104ab6256509cd957a5-314.html#unique-entry-id-314http://hongkongblong.com/files/098ff892918b6104ab6256509cd957a5-314.html#unique-entry-id-314
If only there were a way to combine the two into one über toy, say “The Drinking Secret Captain Bond XX7”, complete with signature Baretta pistol, but with a travel case martini (shaken by the sea, don’t ya know) rather than the bottle of XX rotgut. I’d keep the striped sailor shirt, worn under the tux jacket for a nice iconoclastic touch. I’m sure Q would have some ingenius weapon hidden in the lamp, or maybe in the life preserver...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comFood & BleveragesDisturbing Mascots2011-04-08T08:20:13+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/e27dcfd764de1ef1d9e5f3abdd6fe7e2-313.html#unique-entry-id-313http://hongkongblong.com/files/e27dcfd764de1ef1d9e5f3abdd6fe7e2-313.html#unique-entry-id-313
]]>danmcardle@mac.comDisturbing Mascots2011-04-05T08:32:29+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/a8f8708f935acd9aac0c8aeb34a65f0c-312.html#unique-entry-id-312http://hongkongblong.com/files/a8f8708f935acd9aac0c8aeb34a65f0c-312.html#unique-entry-id-312are actual goldfish ‘swimming’ in a solid ice fishbowl (along with a few tufts of seaweed to add to the oh so subtle illusion). Apparently the folks at the Ice Palace decided to go for authenticity. The creepiness is further enhanced by the unearthly green glow permeating the ice around it. Have to wonder what the guy who did this was thinking as he poured water into the mold and over the strategically placed carcasses - ‘Man this will look great! And so realistic, just like our neon-embedded ice sculptures!”

]]>danmcardle@mac.comDisturbing Mascots2011-04-02T08:00:00+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/7e8d01fca95f436eafe6f5150a4aff4e-311.html#unique-entry-id-311http://hongkongblong.com/files/7e8d01fca95f436eafe6f5150a4aff4e-311.html#unique-entry-id-311Mr. Smash? Note the tool of his trade, a subtle but devastating orange plasma hammer, which offsets the rather odd clamshell mouth and unsettling dead black eyes...

Of course the fact that he’s a ‘clockwork walking smash martian’ assures him a place in the HKB Hall of Champions (or at least head of the ‘automatronic ambulatory demolition alien’ contingent, an admittedly small but vital component)...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comHong Kong Blong2011-03-26T07:18:39+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/224a82c254366ac204d285e5a3a1411d-310.html#unique-entry-id-310http://hongkongblong.com/files/224a82c254366ac204d285e5a3a1411d-310.html#unique-entry-id-310
I tested it today and noticed that it will make another ‘comment’ link appear to the right before it opens up a panel. Simply just click on that and you should be able to hold forth at your leisure. Its been quite some time since anyone has, so please feel free to comment away...]]>danmcardle@mac.comDisturbing Mascots2011-03-25T06:27:46+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/0b5264458efee884b7f42abc17724055-309.html#unique-entry-id-309http://hongkongblong.com/files/0b5264458efee884b7f42abc17724055-309.html#unique-entry-id-309
Here we have the toy based on the infamous Col. Harlan ‘Hap’ Hazard, a well meaning but hopelessly unlucky astronaut. Seems every project Col. Hazard was assigned to experienced random, chaotic events. This toy chronicles his most famous Moon mission, during which he successfully landed only to realize that the boys at Cape Canaveral had outfitted him with a helicopter blade, instead of the intended rocket pack. Of course the helicopter idea didn’t work too well on the Moon, seeing as there’s no air...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English ForceTai Tai Fashionique2011-03-22T19:43:43+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/cef0a1a2ac693c5dc26d6f61f76a1ec1-308.html#unique-entry-id-308http://hongkongblong.com/files/cef0a1a2ac693c5dc26d6f61f76a1ec1-308.html#unique-entry-id-308
]]>danmcardle@mac.comDisturbing Mascots2011-03-18T06:43:45+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/dccc65d2d94fc1f44791424e5b166525-307.html#unique-entry-id-307http://hongkongblong.com/files/dccc65d2d94fc1f44791424e5b166525-307.html#unique-entry-id-307me hungry (quite the opposite in fact). These are even more unsettling in real life, ‘scare the children’ life-like, especially the ‘greek’ frog god in the toga, and the Renaissance woman holding a mutant pet that resembled ‘Woodstock’ from Charlie Brown...



]]>danmcardle@mac.comDisturbing Mascots2011-03-12T07:48:00+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/fa363034b90adab1ddce0d24a97565da-305.html#unique-entry-id-305http://hongkongblong.com/files/fa363034b90adab1ddce0d24a97565da-305.html#unique-entry-id-305hover. By the way what ever happened to the flying cars we were all supposed to have by now? Maybe Great Wall has something up their sleeves, hopefully more practical than their namesake landmark...

But I digress. as I stopped to shoot the aforementioned quirky name I saw what I thought was an oddly colored door pad, only to realize that this was a novelty item the owner had no doubt purchased while very, very drunk. Having a set of fingers trapped in a cardoor is the most unsettling car decoration i’ve ever seen, far more than the old ‘cabbage patch baby hanging by its fingers in the car window’ that thankfully fell out of favor years ago. This is cringe, even nightmare-inducing stuff for anyone who’s ever actually done this, ie slammed their fingers in a car door. I literally pulled my hand back in reflexive horror when I saw it. Suffice it to say it doesn’t make the car hover any better either...



]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2011-03-07T11:06:35+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/0d6f12139c81e6359ca33d2725e0b389-304.html#unique-entry-id-304http://hongkongblong.com/files/0d6f12139c81e6359ca33d2725e0b389-304.html#unique-entry-id-304disguised as a dashboard air freshener - which would explain why our driver kept weaving around unseen obstacles and driving like a waking nightmare...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comTai Tai Fashionique2011-03-02T08:36:40+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/c135c7a40d0003c9ad4c35ccf478dfa5-303.html#unique-entry-id-303http://hongkongblong.com/files/c135c7a40d0003c9ad4c35ccf478dfa5-303.html#unique-entry-id-303
]]>danmcardle@mac.comTai Tai Fashionique2011-02-27T17:17:57+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/a9f402e7689b6670a409cc0fcabe8f65-302.html#unique-entry-id-302http://hongkongblong.com/files/a9f402e7689b6670a409cc0fcabe8f65-302.html#unique-entry-id-302
]]>danmcardle@mac.comDisturbing MascotsSuper English Force2011-02-25T12:59:26+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/228879d49b353b83b72a3179b46ee9c6-301.html#unique-entry-id-301http://hongkongblong.com/files/228879d49b353b83b72a3179b46ee9c6-301.html#unique-entry-id-301Break Like the Wind, the estimable sequel to Spinal Tap). A more useful US version would be targeted not at colicky babies and their sleepless parents, but rather for those unfortunates exposed to rightwing talk radio and fox news (such as workers forced to listen to rush limbaugh or sean hannity by their petty tyrant bosses). It would provide rapid relief from ignorant whining, race-baiting, spittle-flecked griping and toxic levels of foul smelling hot air...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2011-02-22T06:58:52+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/dc5fafac3bb442aedfb5a57847159671-300.html#unique-entry-id-300http://hongkongblong.com/files/dc5fafac3bb442aedfb5a57847159671-300.html#unique-entry-id-300green jades. Wow. As if this were not enough, they claim to be the ‘first place in Beijing’ to boot; a veritable paradise of water sports (surfing and drifting) and spa treatments like ‘hydropathy-care’. Impressive lineup, but they also have venues for bowling, billiards and hairdressing. But it’s their singular ability to offer ‘water-larkishness’ that seals the deal for me. When’s the last time you were able to waterlark indoors? Exactly.



And as you can see by the accompanying shot of the pool, there is potential for water-larking aplenty. Never mind that the bizarre juxtaposition of stalactites, transplanted sections of cave wall, jade tiling, blimp hangar ceiling, and a flotilla of inflatable pool toys will melt your brain...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comHell O'KittyDisturbing Mascots2011-02-19T08:18:22+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/18e9d0a92f290c591f912838b657025f-299.html#unique-entry-id-299http://hongkongblong.com/files/18e9d0a92f290c591f912838b657025f-299.html#unique-entry-id-299No! Because it has Hello Kitty on it of course! And it smells like strawberries, just like Hello Kitty...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2011-02-17T08:02:42+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/895ef7bf36fd6c5144f9655ba76cea5a-298.html#unique-entry-id-298http://hongkongblong.com/files/895ef7bf36fd6c5144f9655ba76cea5a-298.html#unique-entry-id-298of. A quick image search revealed only one other example of it, from a British sign vendor. I don’t recall ever seeing one in the UK, or in any former colonies etc that still use UK signage. Perhaps it means Warning! Something unknown and vaguely dangerous awaits you past this gate! Or maybe its cautioning you about the decoration hanging beside it. Warning! Dangerously oversized traditional Chinese knots ahead!


]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2011-02-15T08:03:50+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/a98aa4991b2ae8bbcdb721c7a2c01f84-296.html#unique-entry-id-296http://hongkongblong.com/files/a98aa4991b2ae8bbcdb721c7a2c01f84-296.html#unique-entry-id-296no magic jackets.



Or is that static producing clothing (no matter how über-fashionable or yummy warm they may be)? Oh well as the ancient Chinese proverb goes, “better safe than static”. It sounds much more noble in the original Mandarin...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English ForceDisturbing Mascots2011-02-13T17:20:19+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/23f3bf2d9b56359a51eb77f7f0306107-295.html#unique-entry-id-295http://hongkongblong.com/files/23f3bf2d9b56359a51eb77f7f0306107-295.html#unique-entry-id-295
]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2011-02-11T17:16:15+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/ed06b8126e47b0ac8d504af9debcb485-294.html#unique-entry-id-294http://hongkongblong.com/files/ed06b8126e47b0ac8d504af9debcb485-294.html#unique-entry-id-294new recipes still need to taste good. I could get the characters properly translated, but why spoil the mystique? And as quotes go, it’s far more thought provoking this way. Although I can’t say it made their entrees taste any better...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comFood & BleveragesDisturbing Mascots2011-02-09T20:38:05+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/3391f296ace67e85b10820ebd1a1aedd-293.html#unique-entry-id-293http://hongkongblong.com/files/3391f296ace67e85b10820ebd1a1aedd-293.html#unique-entry-id-293
Perhaps I’m not alone in my disgust, seeing as they had a veritable tower of the stuff sitting untouched for a week (on sale for 1/2 off to boot). The mind boggles at what the good folks at Gummi Works will think of next: how about a bucket of Gummi Small Intestines? 36 feet of chewilicious gummy joy! Or maybe a bucket of Gummi Meal Worms or Gummi Chum, to expand on their bait-as-candy motif...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comDisturbing Mascots2011-02-07T07:20:24+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/ea04ce009d9c51f0b6af8099db587d89-292.html#unique-entry-id-292http://hongkongblong.com/files/ea04ce009d9c51f0b6af8099db587d89-292.html#unique-entry-id-292sold for money. Suffice it to say I don’t think they’ll have any takers, save for the infamous ‘Museum of Bad Art’ in Boston. The puzzling thing about this atrocity is that who or whatever painted it can actually paint, at least in the sense that they know how to blend colors etc. I hope they didn’t actually experience the acid trip it seems based on. Some interesting mutant animals must be scurrying around their subconscious: we have a four-eyed snail, a coatrack-like truffula tree, a magenta parasite(?), a razor-toothed robotic toucan, a leaf-crested worm dragon, and my personal favorite in the menagerie, a gecko with a French Tricolore sawtoothed tongue...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2011-02-06T08:18:18+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/48160efcfbb8c266dce54600aaffcc82-291.html#unique-entry-id-291http://hongkongblong.com/files/48160efcfbb8c266dce54600aaffcc82-291.html#unique-entry-id-291




Does this mean urinals equal civilization? So... being close to the distance near them is... hmmm. I thought this plaque was perhaps misplaced, but they were dutifully posted above the other ten urinal stations as well. I must have been missing something all these years, just staring blankly ahead while I did my business, unaware that I was on the very cusp of progress...
]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2011-01-26T20:15:21+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/87df420c76176adb138bc9f1a6afe107-290.html#unique-entry-id-290http://hongkongblong.com/files/87df420c76176adb138bc9f1a6afe107-290.html#unique-entry-id-290sale!

]]>danmcardle@mac.comFood & BleveragesHong Kong Wrong2011-01-23T08:12:35+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/1bec30f166cc87cc1d6fcc2dd06ec154-289.html#unique-entry-id-289http://hongkongblong.com/files/1bec30f166cc87cc1d6fcc2dd06ec154-289.html#unique-entry-id-289anything with legs - except the table! Yes hilarious I know. This is not true of course, as evidenced by the appalling number of spoiled dogs here...

Regardless, this place has a few of the more ‘unique’ local offerings on tap than the usual hole in the wall noodle shack, what I believe the British refer to as ‘offal’. We have large intestines, blood curd, ox tripe, pig liver, even pigskin (steamed not fried like pork rinds - yes pork rinds are pig skin, but you knew that, right?) to compliment the more mundane beef brisket and chicken wings. I’ve actually tried some of these dishes, like when my oldest brother mistakenly ordered cold oiled tripe in China (then insisted he really meant to get it). I’ve sampled korean blood sausage (which is similar in principle at least to the blood curd) in suburban Maryland of all places. Suffice it to say that I will be sticking with the brisket...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2011-01-20T17:39:31+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/8c17cc6988084a3cbc47075a6ceefb3e-288.html#unique-entry-id-288http://hongkongblong.com/files/8c17cc6988084a3cbc47075a6ceefb3e-288.html#unique-entry-id-288
]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2011-01-19T10:10:04+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/41db41bcc3af1d7e2351c1848d5dbc60-287.html#unique-entry-id-287http://hongkongblong.com/files/41db41bcc3af1d7e2351c1848d5dbc60-287.html#unique-entry-id-287
]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2011-01-17T07:29:15+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/cfbb202edc210aac73888bbce6589bd4-286.html#unique-entry-id-286http://hongkongblong.com/files/cfbb202edc210aac73888bbce6589bd4-286.html#unique-entry-id-286
Anyway what really caught me is the added bonus listed below: not the 1200 meter water resistance (in case you ever develop the mutant ability to dive to 4000ft without a submersible) but rather the ‘sharkproof bracelet’. Honestly what good will that do you? Sure it’ll preserve the watch, but unfortunately the wrist its attached to won’t fare so well...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2011-01-10T15:15:07+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/fee5beab1a22f1bf64993bbad17b0ae5-285.html#unique-entry-id-285http://hongkongblong.com/files/fee5beab1a22f1bf64993bbad17b0ae5-285.html#unique-entry-id-285
]]>danmcardle@mac.comFood & Bleverages2011-01-07T06:44:56+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/0cc626a96296423b02860072e968587a-284.html#unique-entry-id-284http://hongkongblong.com/files/0cc626a96296423b02860072e968587a-284.html#unique-entry-id-284dreamy, so pie-y. But then I noticed the O!Karto faux french fries. So O!-y, so karto-y... So I now have a conundrum: dreamy pie or O!Kartos? And then I saw the Lay’s Kyushi Seaweed potato chips beside them (hard to read I know). Decisions, decisions... oh who am I kidding - gotta go with dreamy pie! Though I would advise caution regarding Lott’s less popular dark chocolate option, Nightmare Cake...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2011-01-04T19:56:11+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/f1d5986018dca41f732a5d0548163413-283.html#unique-entry-id-283http://hongkongblong.com/files/f1d5986018dca41f732a5d0548163413-283.html#unique-entry-id-283present, you are eligible for some super delicious food - in fact you’re authorized to ‘just take it, its yours!!!’ The juxtapositions here are mind boggling: the aforementioned WWII grunt with a huge fork strapped to his back, carrying a grocery bag overflowing with oddly matched fresh produce; the utterly nonsensical headline; the obnoxious impossible to read warped font (it’s actually called ‘hobo’ and is one of the ugliest fonts ever devised); the WWII British bomber crashlanding in the background, after narrowly missing the airdropped giant pumpkins; and last but not least, the Iraq/Afghanistan-era US troops in the foreground, all dutifully waiting for chowtime, also equipped with monstrous utensils. I guess they need the extra large silverware to get into the pumpkins?

So what does ANY of this have to do with the various restaurants of the Food Forum? Nothing! Just follow orders, soldier! And if anyone tries to impede you as you fill your duffel with a veritable cornucopia of pineapples, grapes and radishes, well just impale them with your army issue giant golden fork. Take it, its yours!

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2011-01-03T11:53:03+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/bae9fe387aaa195db995d064c3767cfc-282.html#unique-entry-id-282http://hongkongblong.com/files/bae9fe387aaa195db995d064c3767cfc-282.html#unique-entry-id-282Goooo Gusties! Blow ‘em away!

]]>