Have a Very... Unsettling Holiday!
18/12/08 19:20 Filed in: Esoterica
These are a few shots of a holiday display by Hysan,
one of the more successful property developers here in
HK. It's mounted on one of their most exclusive
properties. I honestly didn't know what to make of this
- obviously a lot of time and money went into it, but
one wonders what the hell they were thinking exactly.
The christ reference is pretty obvious - seems he has
kept the halo but dispensed with the cross and bleeding
wounds. He's also upgraded his outfit, no doubt because
Louis Vitton and Dior are right across the street. I
don't know what the albino peacock represents, nor the
braided chef, who seems quite put out at having to
cater the event. The magic-spark throwing child looks
more like a safety ad for the dangers of present
generated static electricity. And finally there's the
traditional xmas fairy queen, complete with her famous
dry ice well/pocket watch potted plant combo...
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Uncle Chi Chi Wants You - to Get a Digital Perm
14/12/08 20:19 Filed in: Esoterica
Baguette + Tequila + Genie = Party!
14/12/08 19:54 Filed in: Esoterica
This is an older bus kiosk ad for a street party in Lan
Kwai Fong, the premier expat drinking neighborhood on
the HK side. I was taken in by his wild eyes, maniacal
smile, and cross-cultural hindu god/genie combo. Here
we have all the essential ingredients to a classic HK
shindig - some old school vinyl, sushi, a freshly flown
in Maine lobster, a large whisk, a margarita (although
tequila isn't exactly popular here), and of course a
fresh baguette... now thats a party.
Le Billionaire
14/12/08 19:44 Filed in: Cosmo Living
Chic
Here is a an ad for a newer high rise. HK developers
are always looking for swanky-sounding names (like 'the
beverly hills', 'le villa de mansion' etc), but I like
this nod to modern inflationary trends. no millionaires
allowed - billiionaires only. I think the beams of
light actually scan for non-billionaires, and eradicate
them on contact. I suppose it's too ambitious to call a
building 'le trillionaire' (at least outside Zimbabwe,
where pretty much anyone still using the local currency
is automatically a trillionaire...)
No Impossibilities in Dreams & Shopping
27/11/08 18:48 Filed in: Cosmo Living
Chic
No bad breath in THIS town
27/11/08 18:34 Filed in: Disturbing
Mascots
I came across this a few places in the MTR - it seems
that its not enough to merely eliminate bad breath
causers; you must first humiliate them in traditional
Chinese fashion: force them to crawl on thier knees,
shackled with pillory-style handcuffs, and mounted with
placards proclaiming their heinous crimes. I suppose
the next billboard with show the miscreants brutally
executed and mounted on poles as a grim warning to
other potential offenders...
Snow of House
30/08/08 09:32 Filed in: Disturbing
Mascots
This is a small ice cream franchise here in HK - not
very good honestly, but in their defense the portions
truly are 'jumbo'. And the name 'snow of house' belies
a zen-like understanding not only of snow-based dairy
products but how we perceive and define such products,
nay reality itself. They move beyond a simple 'snow
house' or 'house of snow' to a snow composed
of 'house', perhaps similar to the platonic ideal of
'statue' slumbering in each block of virgin marble -
the house locked in each snowfall...
Bamboo Icy-Crispy Dragon Beard Candy
11/07/08 18:34 Filed in: Esoterica
The All-Seeing Zero Accident Spirit
21/06/08 17:38 Filed in: Disturbing
Mascots
This little guy was given to my oldest daughter at a
safety workshop. His two-fold mission is to exhort Hong
Kongers to attain the laudable goal of 'zero traffic
accidents' - and to act as a handy paper holder of
course. What makes him truly odd, apart from his
car/hat, is the matching set of 'wheels' on the back of
his head. Initially I thought this was a bizarre
attempt to complete the car motif; then it occured to
me that this was in fact a second set of eyes,
strategically placed to assist him in his mission. I
also like his wrap-around toga/belt, constructed of a
green swath of accident free highway; note that it also
covers his spirit genitalia - modesty and
traffic safety, stylishly combined.
It's the Shoes
21/06/08 17:29
As China grows wealthier (relatively) and more
mainlanders can afford to visit Hong Kong, the obvious
distinctions between the two populations are becoming
blurred. Until very recently it was all too easy to
spot the mainland tourists; they often sported odd
blazer/sweater combinations and wore far more somber
color schemes (usually gray and navy blue) than the
ever fashionable locals. As the tourists have gained
more access, one sees more and more mainlanders who
blend in quite well. The only easily discernible
difference continues to be the shoes. Mainland
gentlemen seem to continue their preference for odd
'italian' loafers, with small buckles, usually black
and well worn. They also smoke more than the locals; a
usual giveaway to a Chinese tour group is the
ubiquitous cigarette in everyone's hand, especially
after exiting a bus or building.
Slobbering Tooth Mascot
06/06/08 19:24 Filed in: Disturbing
Mascots
No one does disturbing mascots quite like the Japanese,
although Hong Kongers take a close second. I saw this
on a bus side in Causeway Bay; I'm not sure what the
tooth is doing exactly, though he seems enraptured to
the point of salivating with his new toast(?) or
lozenge girlfriend. I am guessing this is an ad for a
tooth-ache remedy, but god who knows. I especially like
the real life park bench they're sharing on their
'date'. Maybe he'll try the old yawning-arm stretching
routine...
Segas vs. Winds
06/06/08 19:18 Filed in: Esoterica
'Be Alcoholist Frog'
03/06/08 20:06 Filed in: Esoterica
This is a pair of socks for sale in the Little India
neighborhood of Singapore. English-language mutilations
are easy pickin's in Singapore and HK; in fact whole
books of said butcherings have been amassed, usually by
sardonic expats snickering at the natives (while they
themselves are don't speak a word of Cantonese). Still,
some are just too amazing to pass up, and this one
merits special recognition. The socks also stand in
stark counterpoint to 'Prince Charming', the bling
wearing frog that shares the bin.
Who would wear 'be alcoholist frog' socks you ask? Perhaps a better question - who wouldn't? We are exhorted to not only 'wear' alcoholist frog socks, but to 'be alcoholist frogs'...that's heavy.
Who would wear 'be alcoholist frog' socks you ask? Perhaps a better question - who wouldn't? We are exhorted to not only 'wear' alcoholist frog socks, but to 'be alcoholist frogs'...that's heavy.
Cosmo Living Chic Condo
30/05/08 09:27 Filed in: Cosmo Living
Chic
Perhaps no phrase I’ve come across sums up the local
definition of success than this tagline for a local
development. Hong Kongers are the most unabashedly
materialistic people I have ever come across; it’s
almost refreshing in a way, as they are totally
unapologetic about it. One strives to succeed and one
shows off the results. The number of roccoco furniture
and chandelier stores here are staggering - there seems
to be a generational idea here that success is defined
by Loius XIV chairs and leopard skin couches. It’s a
bit like nouveau riche texans - without the
accompanying rudeness or swagger (yes I have been to
texas and of course not all texans swagger; although
they do seem to truly believe that they have the
biggest and best ribs, oysters etc. and that they have
the biggest texas-sized helpin’s). And yes they both
are wielding magic wands...
Euro Sofa Mondo
30/05/08 09:23 Filed in: Cosmo Living
Chic
A newer variety of upscale HK lifestyle - modern pseudo
european. There are of course quite a few high end
italian furniture retailers, catering to a younger
taste than the cosmo chic set. I couldn’t resist the
potential pillow fight motif - “La Dolce Vita” indeed.
In the interests of full disclosure I should mention that I bought some ‘italian design-chinese execution’ (mainland knockoffs) - from them and have to say they were very nice + accommodating. They even volunteered the chinese origins of the pieces, something locals don’t always do.
In the interests of full disclosure I should mention that I bought some ‘italian design-chinese execution’ (mainland knockoffs) - from them and have to say they were very nice + accommodating. They even volunteered the chinese origins of the pieces, something locals don’t always do.
He's Back and He Told You So
27/05/08 09:20 Filed in: Personal
I'm not usually one to quote Ace Frehley (who is?) but
I thought it appropriate considering that it's taken me
several months, two web providers, three site builders,
etc. to get the blong up and running again. Thanks to
the handful of people who politely asked 'where the
hell is the new content?'
I've scavenged my first few original posts and will be putting them up soon as well. Still figuring out the place image option in Rapidweaver, which I highly recommend by the way. Far superior to Word Press (well meaning but ponderous at best).
I've scavenged my first few original posts and will be putting them up soon as well. Still figuring out the place image option in Rapidweaver, which I highly recommend by the way. Far superior to Word Press (well meaning but ponderous at best).