Hello Kitty Safe to Protect Your Priceless Hello Kitty Regalia

For anyone searching for the perfect place to store your priceless Hello Kitty(™ © ® etc.) regalia. Now you can store your Hello Kitty jewelry, Hello Kitty-shaped diamond, photos of your Hello Kitty tattoo, and (most precious of all) your Sanrio stock certificates in fully licensed style. Of course why anyone would require a Hello Kitty safe is beyond most mere mortals like myself. I tend to put my safe in an inconspicuous location (it being a safe and all). And make no mistake this is the real McCoy with all the trimmings - fireproof, digital lock, tempered steel, the works. You’ll sleep easier knowing that any safe cracker worth the name will be deterred by those cold dead eyes and oddly positioned whiskers...


Mustache Party with 'The Smarty' & 'The Casanova' & 'The Scoundrel'

Another posting that pretty much writes itself. I love the Saturday night fever pose and flirting couple - ‘hey nice mustache. Really goes well with your candy red dress’. What better excuse for a party than the chance to swap sweaty self-adhesive mustaches with friends or potential one-night stands? But are you ‘the smarty’, ‘the casanova’ or ‘the scoundrel’? Of course at a proper mustache party, you can indulge all three fantasies. Now they just need a second updated set, perhaps with ‘the unsettling pedophile’ or ‘the wispy hipster’...


Crunchatize Me Cap'n!

A quick post after a long break. I needed something to kick off the dust, get me motivated to blong again. And nothing invigorates you like a gum-shredding, sugar-jagging "bowl o’ the Cap’n’. His unsettling floating eyebrows notwithstanding, I’m happy to return that snappy salute. Crunchatize the world, Cap’n!


Long Hiatus

Apologies to my loyal reader(s) for the long hiatus. Some new posts very soon. Thanks for checking in.

Diverchok. Snow White's Favorite

An unfortunately blurry shot of a Spanish cookie in Wan Chai. Who do I know its from Spain? Says so right there! And Diverchok sounds so spanish, yes? Or should I say Si

I’m guessing Diverchok is an attempt at mashing ‘diverse’ with ‘choc’, which is a common term for chocolate (outside the US). Still its not the most appetizing of names, a rather sharp edged word in contrast to eternally soft-focused Snow and her lil’ birdy companion. Just can’t see her in a glade surrounded by songbirds, extolling the joys of diverchok in dulcet tones...

diverchok snow white

AmericanSoft - We Love Soft Green Tea Cookies

A cookie from Japan. A few choice nuggets here - first the name is truly inspired. I can only imagine they are referring to those disquieting ‘soft-baked’ cookies from Pepperidge Farm(?), that have a shelf life of twelve years and maintain their ‘softness’ throughout. Who knows what preservatives/embalming fluids they use to accomplish that. Also these are green tea flavored cookies; while chocolate and green tea is actually quite popular in Japan (and tastes great actually), I would venture that the vast majority of Americans are a) unaware that green tea exists, and b) would never intentionally eat green tea-flavored cookies, no matter how gooey soft they may be. Unless forced to of course, say while trapped in a Japanese import store during one of those increasingly popular zombie outbreaks…


In a Hurry But Trendy-Overbooked But Superlookee

A three story hanging ad from Times Square in Causeway Bay. Would that we could all stay trendy even when in a hurry. Love the expression on her face as she’s checking her watch. I am concerned - but beautifully so! Don’t’ think anyone will wait around to see those pants…

My favorite aspect of this isn’t the pants or the tagline though, its the asterisked line below. Surbookee mais super-lookee, which translates to ‘overbooked but superlookee.” Apparently the French, famous for having a different word for everything, don’t have a word for superlookee


Extravagance Purple Blue Tone Hair Laurel Crown-one Head - Very Stylish!

A bizarre (even by cantopop) standards) hairstyle for Aaron Kwok. I swear this guy must never sleep - he’s in every major canto movie, does an album and concert tour for laughs, and pimps half the mens’ products available here. While this getup can’t quite match the bubblegum crown from his last concert series, it still qualifies in its own right; woven hair crown and gold lame suit anyone? I keep thinking something is lost in translation, but locals tell me there is really no rhyme or reason to it. Apparently the more bizarre the better. And it doesn’t have anything to do with the actual songs, album title, etc.


Morbidly curious despite this, I googled it and came across this great chinglish mash up. This is from an actual website - obviously whoever posted ran it through a translator:
William Chang exquisite real hair materials, as material woven of a two-tiered crown. Shots the Youyi extravagance purple blue tone, while this feature is of the double crown and Aaron Kwok hair like connected together, do hair laurel crown-one head, very stylish! Aaron said: 'Uncle design really ingenuity, and a sense of humor, especially hair stylist and Herman will crown woven into two levels, the a metaphorical new dance Pro feast concert again presents, but the show process will reinstall feeding both metaphorical also doing good idea! 'Though it may take nearly three hours to change hair surgery, but Aaron are completely happy!

Make the Fun Girls Invented Booty Roller Squad From Onaland Insweat

Make the Fun Girls Invented Booty Roller Squad From Onaland Insweat. But of course...


The Ultimate Whitening Pair - Crush & Eject

Yet another whitening product. This has become a huge business in Asia, some women going for actual bleaching, which leads to an odd juxtaposition of white face and tan/brown body. And its beyond going for a ‘Western’ skin color - Japanese and Chinese traditions of beauty both glorify alabaster complexions, ‘pale moonlit’ princesses etc.

Still what caught my eye is the bizarre use of ‘crush’ and ‘eject’ - words not usually employed for beauty products after all. Also the beauty mask looks haunted, even malevolent (perhaps due to the violet back-glow?). And whats with the flying puzzle pieces? So crushing and ejecting will simultaneously implode and explode your problem skin? That doesn’t sound too pleasant. But as the saying goes, ‘beauty knows no pain’…